It’s not as hard as they make it seem
Behind every great man, there’s an even more incredible woman — or so they say.
But how do those women become so incredible, so worthy of praise? Pish-posh, friends. It isn’t that difficult — and society surely isn’t asking too much of us.
Be a Beauty Guru
Good women never wake up with crust filling their eyes, tangled hair, and morning breath that could knock a herd of elephants on their asses.
No, the good woman wakes up looking like sunshine; fresh, glowing, with the breath of angels and pure, effortless beauty radiating from within. The good woman embodies a well-structured Pantene commercial.
For good women, the tenuous morning routine is a sacred ritual, a dance of brushes and creams where every stroke is a testament to your dedication to the art of looking perpetually “just freshened up.” Her skin should glow like the sun, but never be oily, and her makeup should be indistinguishable from her actual face, yet defy all laws of physics.
The result of this effort must straddle the fine line between Renaissance painting and Instagram…
